My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
