Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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