Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
farters have to be the big spoon...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize