I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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