from now on my penis is your penis
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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