She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
