He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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