just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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