Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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