we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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