what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
