Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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