youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
