Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
