But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
