sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
