yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
