Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
