I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
