omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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