his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
