**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize