dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Send help, water and tortillas.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
how drunk are you?
Several
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
