Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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