My brain says no but my pants say off.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
