508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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