he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize