she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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