i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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