so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
