Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
