I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
