Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
