she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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