you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
