bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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