Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm too high and old for this...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize