im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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