My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so let's talk penis.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
