why didn't you poke me back
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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