Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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