He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
