Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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