Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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