at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize