What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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