my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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