come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
