I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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