what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
