Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize