She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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