Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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