That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize