i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
