I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
