the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
