Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
