i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
