He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
