I want to make a zoo with you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
