I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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